As of yesterday evening we are back in the United States. Our last few weeks in Jordan were hectic, as we were trying to tie up all of the great relationships we've made there. It was hard to say good-bye knowing we wouldn't see many of these people again, but Facebook eases all pain.
Throughout the last few weeks I've been reflecting on our time in Africa and the Middle East. A few months ago I was searching for "the point" of this year, what was God's purpose in bringing us here. With only two months remaining, I wanted a deliverable. Something I could tie a ribbon on and bow around and say see what I did.
You know what? I never received that deliverable, but I did get an answer. I felt God was telling me your life can't be divided up into nice and tidy intervals. Your life is a story and and one chapter bleeds into the next one and you'll be surprised to find out how I use this year for my glory in the future, it might not even be something obvious like Arabic.
The point was a door was opened and obediently, but not always, we walked through it. I trust God will continue to open bigger and bigger doors, please help us to continue walking through them.
Friday, June 3, 2011
Monday, March 21, 2011
Compliments get you everywhere
Greetings here are different than the States, generally much more complimentary. Some examples (obviously they are said in Arabic, so it's not quite as strange as the English translations)
- Well over 50% of all men, call me "their love" even if they've only met me. 10% use "love of my heart."
- The most common adjective my students use when describing me is "beautiful teacher". I guess they have good taste.
- I live in a lower middle class area. There are some doctors that live in the neighborhood but I'm guessing the majority of them have moved to a different neighborhood. However, when I arrived here I was shocked that well over 50% of all older men were doctors. I wondered what did Amman possibly need all of these doctors for, and maybe I should try become one too to fit in. Later, I realized that it's a sign of respect to call an older gentleman or anyone doctor.
- If you would like to get the attention of the waiter, the most common call is "hey teacher, or hey professor"
- It's very common to offer the fare to the taxi driver by addressing him as your uncle.
Friday, March 11, 2011
Some cultural differences...
A couple everyday things that are different.
Giving compliments here can sometimes signal that you are hinting that you want whatever they have, so you have to be careful about you say. Arab culture is generous to the extreme, more often than not you will be offered whatever it is that you complimented. Knowing that, it makes more sense that everything that is bought here has to go in a bag....even if you are buying water. I was told that this way no one can see what has been bought, so no one will ask what it is and you are able to keep it. We met one guy who mentioned at a birthday party the child whose birthday it is will only get to keep 50% of his presents due to other kids “liking” the presents as well, so many times people do not open presents in front of you.
People here also do not find the same things rude that we do. For instance, people seem to love to compare Stephen and I in Arabic. Good for Stephen, since honestly he is better at Arabic than me and I am well aware of this fact. The part that I find annoying it when it is pointed out and followed by several questions asking why I am not better. For instance, “His Arabic is very good, but yours is not. Why not? Why aren't you better?” hahaha. Sometimes you just to have to let things roll, but it does get old fast.
Another cultural difference is the amount of noise here. It is a very noisy place. First of all, since it is a Muslim dominated country, the call to prayer is blasted from every Mosque five times a day. The first time it goes off is sometime around 4 or 5 am (depending on the time of year) and is loud enough to wake you up. (Actually that is their goal as they do it so you will get up and pray). I mentioned the gas man in a previous blog. He drives around in a pick up truck playing a carnival-like tune so people can hear it and come out and buy gas. Another man drives around in a pick up truck with a megaphone announcing which vegetables he is selling. Another one drives around playing the Happy Birthday tune, but I am not sure what he is selling. Local schools have megaphones playing the National Anthem in the morning. Also, there is lots and lots of car honking. If traffic stops for any reason people lay on their horns until things start moving again. Taxis also honk when they pass you to let you know they are available to take a ride. People also honk when moving around cars to let others know that they are passing. Also, just because we are foreigners sometimes we get honked at for whatever reason. If there is a celebration of some sort (like the soccer team winning) people love to set off fireworks. One of the last loud noises to mention is the gang of stray cats that howl most of the night outside our apartment. There are also trained pigeons that fly in circles in our neighborhood that chirp when they land on our window sill. I was talking with one of my teachers about how noise is different here and she replied that she didn't think that people here could live without all their noise.
Additionally, I have a hard time adjusting to the lack of standing in line here. I think Americans love the fact that people take turns and think it's very fair that the first one in line is served first. That just doesn't always happen here. I've seen poor little old ladies cut in front of. I have a hard time not gritting my teeth when a lady elbows here way in front of me in the store. I try to be patient, but the line loving American still surfaces each time in this instance, especially when I was buying just a few things and the other person that cut has a ton of stuff to buy.
There is also difference in making plans with people. From what I understand, people here try to save face so they don't like to cancel plans, canceling plans would be dishonoring you. Apparently, is it more shameful to call and cancel plans than to just not honor the plans. They will cancel them in the way of just not showing up, not calling, not answering their phone or whatever. Eventually, you figure out that your plans have changed as well. This can be very frustrating since you can wait around thinking you have plans when you do not and could have made other plans.
Another interesting thing here that seems to be a cultural norm is there may be additional stops while in a taxi. It is not uncommon for a taxi driver to stop for coffee, tea or gas while the meter is running. However, he will always offer you tea or coffee as well. Also almost every time an Arab is eating in front of you, if you’re a guy they don’t usually talk to the women, they’ll offer you the food. That includes when you walk into a TV store and the owner is eating a sandwich, when the taxi driver is having lunch in his car, or you walk past a family having a BBQ in the park. If you had a really good conversation during the taxi ride, or barber shop they’ll insist you don’t pay (although we still do)!
Giving compliments here can sometimes signal that you are hinting that you want whatever they have, so you have to be careful about you say. Arab culture is generous to the extreme, more often than not you will be offered whatever it is that you complimented. Knowing that, it makes more sense that everything that is bought here has to go in a bag....even if you are buying water. I was told that this way no one can see what has been bought, so no one will ask what it is and you are able to keep it. We met one guy who mentioned at a birthday party the child whose birthday it is will only get to keep 50% of his presents due to other kids “liking” the presents as well, so many times people do not open presents in front of you.
People here also do not find the same things rude that we do. For instance, people seem to love to compare Stephen and I in Arabic. Good for Stephen, since honestly he is better at Arabic than me and I am well aware of this fact. The part that I find annoying it when it is pointed out and followed by several questions asking why I am not better. For instance, “His Arabic is very good, but yours is not. Why not? Why aren't you better?” hahaha. Sometimes you just to have to let things roll, but it does get old fast.
Another cultural difference is the amount of noise here. It is a very noisy place. First of all, since it is a Muslim dominated country, the call to prayer is blasted from every Mosque five times a day. The first time it goes off is sometime around 4 or 5 am (depending on the time of year) and is loud enough to wake you up. (Actually that is their goal as they do it so you will get up and pray). I mentioned the gas man in a previous blog. He drives around in a pick up truck playing a carnival-like tune so people can hear it and come out and buy gas. Another man drives around in a pick up truck with a megaphone announcing which vegetables he is selling. Another one drives around playing the Happy Birthday tune, but I am not sure what he is selling. Local schools have megaphones playing the National Anthem in the morning. Also, there is lots and lots of car honking. If traffic stops for any reason people lay on their horns until things start moving again. Taxis also honk when they pass you to let you know they are available to take a ride. People also honk when moving around cars to let others know that they are passing. Also, just because we are foreigners sometimes we get honked at for whatever reason. If there is a celebration of some sort (like the soccer team winning) people love to set off fireworks. One of the last loud noises to mention is the gang of stray cats that howl most of the night outside our apartment. There are also trained pigeons that fly in circles in our neighborhood that chirp when they land on our window sill. I was talking with one of my teachers about how noise is different here and she replied that she didn't think that people here could live without all their noise.
Additionally, I have a hard time adjusting to the lack of standing in line here. I think Americans love the fact that people take turns and think it's very fair that the first one in line is served first. That just doesn't always happen here. I've seen poor little old ladies cut in front of. I have a hard time not gritting my teeth when a lady elbows here way in front of me in the store. I try to be patient, but the line loving American still surfaces each time in this instance, especially when I was buying just a few things and the other person that cut has a ton of stuff to buy.
There is also difference in making plans with people. From what I understand, people here try to save face so they don't like to cancel plans, canceling plans would be dishonoring you. Apparently, is it more shameful to call and cancel plans than to just not honor the plans. They will cancel them in the way of just not showing up, not calling, not answering their phone or whatever. Eventually, you figure out that your plans have changed as well. This can be very frustrating since you can wait around thinking you have plans when you do not and could have made other plans.
Another interesting thing here that seems to be a cultural norm is there may be additional stops while in a taxi. It is not uncommon for a taxi driver to stop for coffee, tea or gas while the meter is running. However, he will always offer you tea or coffee as well. Also almost every time an Arab is eating in front of you, if you’re a guy they don’t usually talk to the women, they’ll offer you the food. That includes when you walk into a TV store and the owner is eating a sandwich, when the taxi driver is having lunch in his car, or you walk past a family having a BBQ in the park. If you had a really good conversation during the taxi ride, or barber shop they’ll insist you don’t pay (although we still do)!
Monday, January 24, 2011
A Few Visits
We've been on break for the past few weeks which was rather refreshing. Over the break we had Rhonda (Stephen's mom) visit for Christmas and David, Ali & Debbie (three close friends) visit after her. We were able to see some of the more touristy places in Jordan as well as a couple surrounding countries.
Towards the end of the conversation, one family member asked if coming here had changed our opinion of Muslims. It made me think about how nobody enjoys to be judged negatively especially without being known. Unfortunately, between different cultures, especially ones as different as ours, judgements are common. It is frustrating here as I know many people (but not all) judge me everyday without getting to know me. I am thrown into “The West” category as if every person from America and Europe were exactly the same. The same way of going about life, the same values, thoughts and beliefs. Many of the people here, hear our news reports and are afraid of our cities, wondering why anyone would ever live in such a violent place. Based on our movies some people here believe western men and women are ready to throw themselves at each after two sentences. However, I have to remind myself that we have unfair preconceived notions of Arabs in the United States as well.
*Please note that the photo here is not at the house we were at for dinner but in a tent with Bedouins. The large tray with a lot of food is the typical Jordanian way of serving it.
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