Back in the USA

As of yesterday evening we are back in the United States. Our last few weeks in Jordan were hectic, as we were trying to tie up all of the great relationships we've made there. It was hard to say good-bye knowing we wouldn't see many of these people again, but Facebook eases all pain.

Throughout the last few weeks I've been reflecting on our time in Africa and the Middle East. A few months ago I was searching for "the point" of this year, what was God's purpose in bringing us here. With only two months remaining, I wanted a deliverable. Something I could tie a ribbon on and bow around and say see what I did.

You know what? I never received that deliverable, but I did get an answer. I felt God was telling me your life can't be divided up into nice and tidy intervals. Your life is a story and and one chapter bleeds into the next one and you'll be surprised to find out how I use this year for my glory in the future, it might not even be something obvious like Arabic.

The point was a door was opened and obediently, but not always, we walked through it. I trust God will continue to open bigger and bigger doors, please help us to continue walking through them.

Compliments get you everywhere

Greetings here are different than the States, generally much more complimentary. Some examples (obviously they are said in Arabic, so it's not quite as strange as the English translations)

- Well over 50% of all men, call me "their love" even if they've only met me. 10% use "love of my heart."

- The most common adjective my students use when describing me is "beautiful teacher". I guess they have good taste.

- I live in a lower middle class area. There are some doctors that live in the neighborhood but I'm guessing the majority of them have moved to a different neighborhood. However, when I arrived here I was shocked that well over 50% of all older men were doctors. I wondered what did Amman possibly need all of these doctors for, and maybe I should try become one too to fit in. Later, I realized that it's a sign of respect to call an older gentleman or anyone doctor.

- If you would like to get the attention of the waiter, the most common call is "hey teacher, or hey professor"

- It's very common to offer the fare to the taxi driver by addressing him as your uncle.

Some cultural differences...

A couple everyday things that are different.

Giving compliments here can sometimes signal that you are hinting that you want whatever they have, so you have to be careful about you say. Arab culture is generous to the extreme, more often than not you will be offered whatever it is that you complimented. Knowing that, it makes more sense that everything that is bought here has to go in a bag....even if you are buying water. I was told that this way no one can see what has been bought, so no one will ask what it is and you are able to keep it. We met one guy who mentioned at a birthday party the child whose birthday it is will only get to keep 50% of his presents due to other kids “liking” the presents as well, so many times people do not open presents in front of you.

People here also do not find the same things rude that we do. For instance, people seem to love to compare Stephen and I in Arabic. Good for Stephen, since honestly he is better at Arabic than me and I am well aware of this fact. The part that I find annoying it when it is pointed out and followed by several questions asking why I am not better. For instance, “His Arabic is very good, but yours is not. Why not? Why aren't you better?” hahaha. Sometimes you just to have to let things roll, but it does get old fast.

Another cultural difference is the amount of noise here. It is a very noisy place. First of all, since it is a Muslim dominated country, the call to prayer is blasted from every Mosque five times a day. The first time it goes off is sometime around 4 or 5 am (depending on the time of year) and is loud enough to wake you up. (Actually that is their goal as they do it so you will get up and pray). I mentioned the gas man in a previous blog. He drives around in a pick up truck playing a carnival-like tune so people can hear it and come out and buy gas. Another man drives around in a pick up truck with a megaphone announcing which vegetables he is selling. Another one drives around playing the Happy Birthday tune, but I am not sure what he is selling. Local schools have megaphones playing the National Anthem in the morning. Also, there is lots and lots of car honking. If traffic stops for any reason people lay on their horns until things start moving again. Taxis also honk when they pass you to let you know they are available to take a ride. People also honk when moving around cars to let others know that they are passing. Also, just because we are foreigners sometimes we get honked at for whatever reason. If there is a celebration of some sort (like the soccer team winning) people love to set off fireworks. One of the last loud noises to mention is the gang of stray cats that howl most of the night outside our apartment. There are also trained pigeons that fly in circles in our neighborhood that chirp when they land on our window sill. I was talking with one of my teachers about how noise is different here and she replied that she didn't think that people here could live without all their noise.

Additionally, I have a hard time adjusting to the lack of standing in line here. I think Americans love the fact that people take turns and think it's very fair that the first one in line is served first. That just doesn't always happen here. I've seen poor little old ladies cut in front of. I have a hard time not gritting my teeth when a lady elbows here way in front of me in the store. I try to be patient, but the line loving American still surfaces each time in this instance, especially when I was buying just a few things and the other person that cut has a ton of stuff to buy.

There is also difference in making plans with people. From what I understand, people here try to save face so they don't like to cancel plans, canceling plans would be dishonoring you. Apparently, is it more shameful to call and cancel plans than to just not honor the plans. They will cancel them in the way of just not showing up, not calling, not answering their phone or whatever. Eventually, you figure out that your plans have changed as well. This can be very frustrating since you can wait around thinking you have plans when you do not and could have made other plans.

Another interesting thing here that seems to be a cultural norm is there may be additional stops while in a taxi. It is not uncommon for a taxi driver to stop for coffee, tea or gas while the meter is running. However, he will always offer you tea or coffee as well. Also almost every time an Arab is eating in front of you, if you’re a guy they don’t usually talk to the women, they’ll offer you the food. That includes when you walk into a TV store and the owner is eating a sandwich, when the taxi driver is having lunch in his car, or you walk past a family having a BBQ in the park. If you had a really good conversation during the taxi ride, or barber shop they’ll insist you don’t pay (although we still do)!

A Few Visits

We've been on break for the past few weeks which was rather refreshing. Over the break we had Rhonda (Stephen's mom) visit for Christmas and David, Ali & Debbie (three close friends) visit after her. We were able to see some of the more touristy places in Jordan as well as a couple surrounding countries.

In between visitors we were able to visit with some of our English students. A brother and sister, one from each of our classes had us over for a meal with their whole family! They cooked for us a typical Jordanian meal of chicken, rice, peanuts, and a special sauce. We also had Arabic coffee, and they taught us that if you don't want more coffee you pick up your cup and shake it. Otherwise, it will be refilled frequently. They were a pleasant and very warm family. We got into conversation about Jordanians and Americans. One of the brothers had an international job and talked about how he liked that Americans like to joke around a lot. He said some others cultures were too serious.

Towards the end of the conversation, one family member asked if coming here had changed our opinion of Muslims. It made me think about how nobody enjoys to be judged negatively especially without being known. Unfortunately, between different cultures, especially ones as different as ours, judgements are common. It is frustrating here as I know many people (but not all) judge me everyday without getting to know me. I am thrown into “The West” category as if every person from America and Europe were exactly the same. The same way of going about life, the same values, thoughts and beliefs. Many of the people here, hear our news reports and are afraid of our cities, wondering why anyone would ever live in such a violent place. Based on our movies some people here believe western men and women are ready to throw themselves at each after two sentences. However, I have to remind myself that we have unfair preconceived notions of Arabs in the United States as well.

*Please note that the photo here is not at the house we were at for dinner but in a tent with Bedouins. The large tray with a lot of food is the typical Jordanian way of serving it.

Wehdat vs Faisaly huzzah

Jordan has two major football clubs whose games reflect deeper political issues, Wehdat and Faisaly. To understand the difference between the fan bases a quick primer on the makeup of Jordan is required. After the 48 and 67 wars, many Palestinian refugees settled in Jordan. Here they were granted citizenship and have a much higher standard of living than in Lebanon. Wehdat is traditionally supported by Jordanian citizens with a Palestinian background and Faisaly by Jordanian citizens with a Jordanian background.

My students invited me and another teacher to a game between the two clubs. My first clue that things might not be as they seem is when the taxi driver said today's game would have a crisis, but considering this is the same word used for light traffic I shrugged it off as an exaggeration.

I met up with my students, we purchased tickets, and started standing in the general admission line. My students kept trying to enter through a closed exit but the police kept turning them back, but eventually they talked their way in. The stadium is setup with ten different sections each separated by a bolted gate guarded by policemen. Since we arrived late, still 2 hours before game time, we were in the worst section, but my students kept telling the policemen that we were guests from outside of Jordan. One by one we kept upgrading to better sections, each time after talking to the head policemen of who validated we were foreigners by speaking to us in Arabic very quickly.

So the game was fun, we were sitting on the Wehdat side and they won 1-0. We were not on the liveliest side, but it was still was extremely packed when sitting down.

After the game things got even more interesting. All of a sudden several rows on the side opposite of us were completely empty, and then we saw the police chasing people. The fans were unable to go anywhere as the gates were locked. This carried on for a few minutes and then suddenly about 20 rows cleared out, which was obviously a huge problem as those people had to go somewhere (the other side was even more packed than ours). Everyone started crowding up against the fence and crushing the people on the bottom of the pile. Thankfully the fence broke and people started falling onto the field. It was obvious some people were seriously injured.

At this point we were locked in on the other side of the stadium just watching. I started to head for the part of the stadium where it was emptier as I was more scared of being crushed to death than of the police hitting me. However, they opened the doors and told us all to scram. As we were leaving things started to escalate. The fans, angry due to the situation, didn't disperse. The cops resorted to force to secure the perimeter.

My students' car was in the middle of the calamity so they tried to stay inside the stadium until it all passed over. We were repeatedly kicked out only to be allowed to return when the police were informed we are foreigners.

This continued for the next hour or so, in that time we saw a few "riot" charges by the police, were tear gassed and all in all have a good time. Eventually, I convinced our students it's clear enough to make a break for the car. We started walking to the car, once we round the corner we found the base camp for the police is in the way. As we were walking a policeman started charging at us shouting something fairly harsh I'm sure. I heard our students say "they are from outside Jordan", the policemen stops in his tracks, smiles and says "Welcome to Jordan."

Some things about the daily life here

Some of the things day to day are different here in Jordan. For example, we are in the middle of a desert and there is quite the water shortage. This takes some adjustment, coming from a place that seems to have enough fresh water for the whole world. It is strange to hardly see any green. There are a few trees but I have not seen a single lawn in the city.

Every apartment has a water tank on the roof. On your weekly "water day" the city turns on your water supply for ~24 hours. This is the time to do laundry and cleaning. Luckily, we haven't gone through our one week supply of water yet, but we have talked to many people that have. You can get more water delivered before your water day, but it is expensive, so some people have been known to steal their neighbor's water supply by putting a hose from the neighbor's tank to their own. The water heater for the shower must be turned on about 30 min prior in order to have a hot shower.

Another difference is the stove/ovens here. Each is hooked up to a gas tank. The tank looks just like those in the states for a gas grill. You turn the gas tank on and off for cooking. When your tank runs out, you must then find the gas man that randomly drives through your neighborhood. He drives a pick-up truck full of gas tanks in back and you just trade your empty one for a new one. You know he is around because he plays this annoying, carnival-like melody loudly all day long.

Also, we are told that even though the temperature is not as cold here, we will feel cold fatigue, meaning we will be cold ALL the time. The houses are not built with insulation and most buildings do not have central heating. It is supposed to get down to the 40's and we are told in your house nearly matches the temperature outside. Heaters here comprise of space heaters or portable gas tank heaters. This is also the "rainy season," or in the case of the dusty city the "mud season." We will give more details when the cold comes around. Now it is still lovely in the 70's.

Going to school for teaching English and learning Arabic has also been interesting because those are at the top of one hill and we live on the top of another hill. Sometimes we take a taxi, as taxis are dirt cheap here but do not come through our neighborhood often enough. We can also take a service taxi, which like a bus runs on a set route. The service taxi takes us down the hill, to the city center where we walk to the next service taxi that will take us up another hill. 3 days of the week we walk. This is a good way to stay in shape but a ton of stairs!! We counted the stairs one time because it seemed like a ridiculous amount of them. Honestly, the walk is almost straight down and then straight up. First, it is down a hill without stairs. Then to two big staircases down which are 415 stairs total. Then the stairs up to school are 322 steps. Work those leg muscles!! The stairs also are not well maintained. Many places they are crumbling and there is a lot of trash. Although, there are uniformed guys picking some of it up, Jordanians seem to have no qualms about throwing their garbage all over the place. I'm glad that we scorn litterbugs, as it does make for a much cleaner, beautiful place.

Engagement Party

Last week I was invited by one of my English students to her "engagement party." I really didn't know what to expect. I show up and I am probably one of at least one hundred guests....all who are female except the groom. To me it looks like an American wedding reception minus the men. It is at a banquet hall, there is a dance floor and dancing and later cake served. I am probably the only non-Muslim woman there and the only English speaker. Luckily, one of Stephen's students is also there and takes me under her wing. She introduces me as "the English teacher" and all of a sudden people are saying "most welcome" and wanting to shake my hand. Some want to kiss my cheek but I haven't mastered this and it is a little embarrassing. People from different countries (we have met Palestinians, Jordanians, Iraqis...etc here) seem to want to give different number of kisses to each cheek, and I get confused when to turn my head from side to side. I am also confused that about half the women present have no hijab (scarf covering their head) on and are also dressed in things I would wear to a Western wedding including dresses above the knees (no one shows their legs here!), heels, lots of make-up and their hair done. The other half of women are covered fully in dresses to the floor, sleeves to the wrist and a hijab on. I can't figure out the rule for who can uncover and who stays covered. I am confused because the groom is present and most Muslim women, as far as I know, always stay covered when a man is present or at least would not wear a dress that shows off their legs. I am introduced to my student's man as her "husband" and not as "fiance." Did they just get married, I wonder? I thought it was an engagement party. Unfortunately, no one there could speak enough English to answer my questions. At least, I had a good time and it was interesting to see a different side of the culture.

**I have since gotten a chance to talk with this girl. She is engaged only and there will be another party for the wedding. They do refer to each other as husband and wife. She wears a ring on her right hand and will change it to her left hand once she gets married. She still lives at home until they are married.